How Industrialization broke homes and created me!

Let's imagine a time when industrialization was not present.

Industrialization is termed to have started when steam engines came up which then started automotive, industries and schools for the required skill.

Let's imagine the world without schools, cars and industries.

When people used to learn the skills from their parents of the vocation they used to do. Till that time no schools were needed and a child would depend on his/her father to learn the skill he knew. Hence the bond and respect was something we might have never felt as well. Education is now about the most salary package giver .

When people had no quick modes to reach anywhere they want and hence their near and dear ones , their society was everything for them. The bond was less like neighbors and more like siblings. These days I don’t even know who lives next door.

When people used to do everything for their own people since they knew just a few people and their immediate family was just enough for them. Now, the youngsters today have apprehensions when it comes to marriage and half of them cannot take the burden of their old parents anymore.

When a person used to have time for himself to introspect and time to relax. Not like today when we want to leave the hustle bustle of city to find peace. When I have internet and WhatsApp and Netflix to divert my mind from my problems rather than face them.

When everything in nature was important. Sun and moon were the clocks for man, water and trees were the food for them. Now like today when the news of extinction of animals, cruelty to animals, global warming, meets for climate change always pops up on TV.

When the status of the person was more dependent on how compassionate and helpful he/she is. Not like today when you need to maintain your hashtag lists and iPhone coming in.  

When the work in the family was divided equally. If the person was a cloth weaver, the work would be divided equally among the parents and children. The joint effort made them a strong social unit. Now the male will go industry and does only "his" work. Everybody comes in their shifts and hardly a social unit or joint family effort is created.

When the full nineteenth century was talking about the need of individualism and the freedom of self and we ended up having nuclear families.

This is no discussion about individualism and collectivism.

We know the world is perfect only when everything is in balance. [Too much of anything , whether individualism or collectivism is harmful]

When you and me are at peace. When we are not in rush for work but have a leisure time to have a cup of tea in the morning with your spouse. When we are not in "me" mode and can selflessly help a colleague at work. When we don’t have targets to meet and can have the pleasure to spend a full evening in a social function. When I don’t have to think about my next day work and can sleep off after a good meditation for self.

I firmly believe in my four square theory. See your palm, and see the four corners. That is - Me, My society, My careers and My family. All four squares are important and necessary in life and should be in perfect balance.

Even as Buddhism quotes, the real happiness is "compassion for others and peace for us".

Well, different things work for different people in finding the peace. I hope and wish that everyone in this world find peace at his/her end.

What works for me is on line from the happiest country in the World - "Happiness never decreases by being shared".

Go and find what works for you!

On the other hand, is masculinity freedom?

We raise our voices so much for feminism, equality and freedom for women from the views of society.

I wondered today if, on the other hand, are men free of all the shackles of society?

Few words for them..

The burden on them to always be strong,

When they had to hid all the tears in their eyes.

The burden on them to protect their females,

When they are afraid of the dark themselves.

The burden on them to carry forward the business of family,

When all they wanted was to travel around the world.

The burden on them to take up masculine roles,

When they wanted to paint, and write poems.

The burden on them to be the breadwinner,

When they wanted to stay and cook.

The burden on them pick up the heavy weights,

When even their back is paining.

The burden on them to pamper their wives,

When they themselves needed love.

The burden on them to be self-reliant,

When they wanted an arm to hug them.

The burden on them to be powerful,

When they wanted to be alone and content.

The burden on them to be the hero,

When they were fine with being just common.

The burden to be a male,

When they wanted to be just human and live like they want.

Shagun

​ Red market- the trading of body organs and flesh!

Red market- the trading of body organs and flesh!

Why body parts market is an alruistic market and not a trade market?
1. It started as a trade market but then the human tendency was to look for the cheapest source. People started taking organs from prisoners which was termed as a form of slavery because prisoners had no other option to earn money.
2. It was hence defined as an altruistic market or voluntary donation only. Also, called as exchange of gifts or Blood socialism
3. So, if very few exceptions, all countries selling of blood, body organs is FREE.


Why anonymity is maintained between acceptor and donor?
1. So that the acceptor doesn’t feel indebted to him all his life.
2. To protect the interests of the donor.


Drawback of voluntary donation and anonymity-
1. In the whole supply chain, everybody earns money except for the donor.
2. As more organs become available, doctors keep adding the list of transplant.
3. Anonymity has led to total lack of transparency and black market for organs as tracing of body organs is hardly possible.
4. It has led to just trade of flesh which the middlemen use for their profits. They generally force, kidnap poor people to give up their organs as it cannot be traced back.
5. This has led to things like kidney stealing, bone thieves, human trafficking (or adoption and surrogacy), detrimental health during egg donation.
6. anonymity means people can buy flesh without worrying where it came for. It could be detrimental for both acceptor and donor.

CONCLUSION- The only solution to resolving the red market-
1. Make it transparent so that people can be traced back
2. This will lead to abolition of trade market where middlemen inflict all atrocities on humans to earn profits.

Middlemen open the door to dangerous abuses. The only way to get rid of them is to let the sun shine and expose the whole supply chain from beginning to end. Every blood packet should be traceable, every kidney should be affixed with a name, every surrogate womb find able and every adoption open.


No one will be killed for his kidneys if we are able to track them down, no children will be kidnapped if adoptions are open, no blood sellers will be locked in rooms to create infinitesimal blood supply.


Why this will never end-
1. As innovation keeos happening, doctors keep adding more disesases which could be rectified through organ transplant. Hence, the demand will only keep increasing.
2. As in the oil market, more innovations keep happening in terms of petroleum products and so. Similarly, in the body market.


Some facts

Bones/Skeleton trading-
1. Skulls taken out of graves to be made as flutes
2. Bone factories in WB
3. Bodies sold as anatomical skeletons to american medical schools
4. Bhutanese Buddhism says to understand mortality, we need to spend time contemplating the dead bodies. They use flutes carved out of tibia and femurs and prayer bowls out of crowns of skulls
5. The ligaments are scraped and implanted to some Olympian athlete.
6. Hair on head are used to make wigs.
7. A child skeleton can fetch much more money as it illustrates transitional stages in osteological development.


Kidney Trading-
1. There is a village in TN afflicted with Tsunami. One of their bread earning methods was loss of one kidney. It is termed as 'KidneyVakkam' village.
2. The situation is worse in China. The government harvests the organs of prisoners who are on a death row.
3. They even have a catalog on their website for sale of kidneys, liver , lungs , heart and cornea.
4. Child trafficking in the name of child adoption
5. Children are kidnapped from their houses to be sold in the foreign markets for child adoption,
6. Lighter color, better appearance and good lifestyle can fetch you better amount.


Egg donation
1. While the course of egg donation, girls are often injected with a hormone that causes hyperstimulation syndrome in which follicles become enlarges and produces tomany eggs.
2. In one case, an Israeli doctor took 181 eggs for a donor.


Surrogacy
1. Legalized in India in 2012 to promote medical tourism.
2. Indian women are preferred as they dont drink and smoke.
3. Charges are $15000-$20000 from in-vitro to delivery.
4. The women used as surrogates are made to live in a place where they are not allowed to go out. Television is their only source of entertainment.
5. However, there are no legal authority stating laws and ensuring the whole procedure is safe and legal.


Blood
1. People are taken captive for years and bled of blood. These are called as the blood factories.
2. The prisoners get too weak after the blood loss that they cannot even contemplate an escape.
3. The normal hemoglobin is around 14-18 grams for every 100 mls of blood. These prisoners usually have 4 gms.

Clinical trials
The poor bear the risk of testing drugs but only affluent receive the benefits of it.

Knowledge about body parts.


1. hemophiliac-body disorder where blood doesnt clot properly.


2. Ligaments- the tissue that connects the two nones or cartilages.


3. All muscles are tissues.


4. Cartilages are softer form of bones.


5. Brain aneurysm - A weakness in a blood vessel in the brain that balloons and fills with blood.


6. Regenerative medicine is a branch of translational research in tissue engineering and molecular biology which deals with the "process of replacing, engineering or regenerating human cells, tissues or organs to restore or establish normal function". Like stem cell production






Read


Surrogacy law in India


Stem cell production and it's uses

The best part about writing is how it connects strangers!

A response to any article is the best gift a writer can get on the day he wrote an article! We don’t even mind negative feedback; the feeling that somebody sat and heard our opinions is big enough! A positive feedback is icing on the cake.

Recently I wrote an article on one of the blog sites dealing with B-schools, their admission process , the life inside B-schools and placements of course! I wrote an article about my interview saga for the college I finally chose. I was so delighted to see a person who read the article and wanted to connect with me. We shared somewhat same kind of past experience and have somewhat same kind of aspirations from life in future!

It was heartwarming to connect with him. It is like motionless travelling where you meet so many people and exchange your thoughts!

Also, the feeling of helping somebody in his process of finding his dream college and dream company in itself is a great feeling! As mentioned in a book “Give and Take” by Adam Grant, giving is one of the most pleasurable habits. One of the research says that if you contribute 100 hours og giving in an year, you will be happy throughout the year. And 100 hours per year is just 2 hours per week! Where you help a person and yourself feel appreciated to be able enough to help someone. And I am delighted that the pleasure I get by writing gets double fold after the pursuit of giving.

The feeling that you can connect with so many souls out there through your single piece of writing has made me keener to write more and share as much as I can. I am sure, somewhere in this world, in the population of 7 billion; at least one person will read and reply! And hence a relationship will start J  

When you fall for ‘not -your- dream-man’

Believe me, I am with a guy who is so opposite to my definition of my dream man! But I am very happy and very satisfied with my life right now! Why? I sat this morning and pondered upon how I am happy with the guy who is so different with what I want and is it sustainable in the long run?

I’ll tell you my observations and thoughts-

1.      We girls, at least I was, are inspired and ruled my Bollywood, movies, serials around us (the same way guys are inspired by porn when it comes to sex, I think). Our lives revolve around the imaginable Bollywood world- How we should look and what we should wear and how slim we should get, how to get attention and how much pampering you require from your dream man! I actually believed in the scenes where a girl will call her lover and he will rush to her arms!

My guy has made me think about this pampering and the practicality of it! It isn’t like he won’t do things for me, but he will do what is absolutely essential for me and what he feels like. It became imperative for me to come out of my dreamland. After all, what is love for me might not be love for him. I cannot push a person to express himself ‘My way’.

First lesson- Find love in the way he wants to love you. Don’t force your way of him. And we all know some things are important, just communicate!

2.      I was a person who used to get dependent on the other person a lot for my needs (and sometimes it could be big and sometimes it could be small). To make a small stupid IVR call for me, to spend all nights with me, to understand all my views. Well, is it really who we would call ‘independent’ woman. It became essential for me to have an individual life and stop asking my guy for every other thing or support and the relationship pushed me a lot for this. Because it was practical and mature thing to do as well. Because we all need that space to let go of everything else and just be the way we want.

Second lesson- It is very important to find YOUR OWN life. I call it as Shagun’s FOUR square theory.

These are four integral parts of your life and it is very important to take care for everything separately. Take care of needs of your mother, but don’t forget about your ambitions and dreams also. Take care about your spouse but don’t forget your little me times.

3.      Last is one of the most important lessons I learnt. I was so used to get things my way and to be pampered the way I want, that I absolutely forgot to reciprocate. This guy asked me to do things and now everything works mutually and in tandem between us. We all know that youth/adults is not an age of unconditional love. You give and you take. And you need to understand what the other person wants.

Third lesson- Take some time out and ponder upon things that he want. Not just keep cribbing about the how much work we have to do both in office and house. After all, even a male sacrifices a lot of things to make a relationship fruitful. Understand what he does and what he wants in return. It is absolutely necessary to give!

I always tell my guy how much stability he brings in my life. He has taken me out of the unending romanticism and pampering I had been living with and expecting the same always. I am not quoting that pampering is bad, but one way and rigid pampering is bad. We all need to find love in small things that the other person does for us. And don’t forget to do those small things for him too. Be confident about yourself and be happy with what you are! After all, confidence is sexier than a bikini!

May be this ‘dream man’ thing is all a farce! You just need common sense after all in love too!

Everything can grow! Dont make anything stagnant!

At the end na Nishant, to be successful in any domain, may be careers, lifelong friendship, marriage

1.   We need to think about it and analyze. Because everything keeps changing. Your relationship, your expectations, your career demands. If we don’t think about it gets stale and stagnant. Our expectations from each other are different from time to time.

2.      2.  Like career, you have to see that there is always a next step in a relationship. We need to do what is required at that time. Like on valentines, I had expected you to at least arrange a dinner (like you expected me to at least get the gift on time).

3.       3. To achieve everything, we need to push ourselves. Same for career and relationships. Like I tell how I had to drop down to Vyom’s level to make it work. And Nishant, it worked. I thought about his age and his likings and now I have a wonderful siblings bond with him.

4.       4. But frankly, the problem I have had with men is that they don’t think emotionally. Sushant told that 50000 salary is the criteria for our marriage. But thinking emotionally about it, it ruined our relationship because things had changed a lot between us. Things were stagnant and we needed a next step which never came.

5.       5. And there are men who think! And who are emotional! There is no problem in crying or being low. Because that’s what matter in our lives after all. Isn’t it?  

6.       6. Once in a while, think about things that matter to you so much! I don’t know what. Whatever they are? How are you going to achieve it, how are you going to make things happy and etc. 

Think! Ten minutes a day!

People call me an over thinker. I think about that also and I don’t deny the allegation.

But the bigger sin would be to not to think about the stuff that matters or will matter in our lives. We live like ants. Just keep following the “fad”. We don’t think what and why things happen. We live in our small goals which hardly have any repercussions in the larger scheme of our lives or anybody’s lives. We shut our minds with the emotions that are deep inside us.

We don’t think about the hurt we cause to our parents

When we ill mouth them.

We don’t think about the cause of rape

But just want to change the clothes of women.

We don’t think about forlornness of our friends at times

We leave them when they need us the most

We don’t think about the pain it caused to our lover

When we cheated on them

We don’t think about the sorrow of the poor

But we blame them for the reservation quota.

We don’t think about the pain we cause to animals.

We rather give protection as the name of the games played with them.

We don’t think about the yearning our grandparents have

We would rather appoint an extra nurse for their care.

We don’t think about college as givers of knowledge and purpose

They are job giving machines for us

We don’t think about sex as the maker of love

But of satisfaction and dominance

We don’t think about the struggling unemployed man

But are happy with the overly priced personal care shopping.

We don’t think about the sacrifice our soldiers put in for us

But are happy to break a law here and there.

We don’t think about how we can make our country glorious

But are happy to praise the beauty of abroad.

We don't think about the hunger of that poor starving kid

But would rather waste a cake on someone's birthday.

There is so much that needs our attention!

Give ten minutes of your day daily!

Think what happened today. What went right and what went wrong.

Think what you did was frivolous in the larger life you will have.

Think about the small actions you could take for a perfect life of just not you but of people around you.

Think! Just for ten minutes a day!

And maybe could change somebody’s life for a better good.