One of the person I have always admired in my life is my father. He taught me to work hard and gave me the freedom to chose my career path. He supported all the decisions i took in my life. With him in my journey, I imbibed a lot of principles he used to share with me.
There are two things he always told me, which now have contradictory effect on me. Individually, I don't think they are incorrect but they get on my nerves when i combine them.
1. Invest zero time in the things that doesn't matter in your life.
2. It is very important to stand for things you believe in and speak up.
So basically what happens is that people around me do get into a lot of frivolous talks and debates. I tend to refrain from getting into them, following the rule no 1.
But after that, it gives me a feeling of being weak. That there was a discussion going on and i couldn't point forth my points and convince other people. Sometimes, I push myself to get up and say my points and then defend them. If I don't do, i feel-
Am i not smart enough?
Am i not confident enough in life to put forth my points?
Do i fear people will judge me if i go against them?
Am i scared of heated arguments?
I shared this feeling with a close friend of mine and he advised me to do an "Importance Analysis" of things. To indulge and defend only if they are important enough. Otherwise, it is not worth your time and peace of mind.
But what about the feeling weak?
Even if the topic is frivolous, I might have a point for or against it.
What i have analysed is that I am a sort of person who likes to talk and discuss and argument on things. Most Librans are. It doesn't mean we love fighting. It doesn't mean that we don't respect another's opinion. But we have this innate feeling of talking and discussing about a lot of things. We like to understand the other's point of view. We like the fact that it pushes us to think about things from different perspectives.
I like that sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. Because the world is different and people have different views.
Your principles might be correct but they should be suitable to your innate nature as well.
I think, from today on, I will try to put my points in a very subtle way whenever I have without thinking about what others might feel or say. As Malcolm Gladwell said in his book, "The Tipping Point", how you say things are much more important than the things you say.
Going forward, I would always try to put forth my points in a subtle way, defend them when i think that i am right and learn from them when i think i am wrong.
Shagun
There are two things he always told me, which now have contradictory effect on me. Individually, I don't think they are incorrect but they get on my nerves when i combine them.
1. Invest zero time in the things that doesn't matter in your life.
2. It is very important to stand for things you believe in and speak up.
So basically what happens is that people around me do get into a lot of frivolous talks and debates. I tend to refrain from getting into them, following the rule no 1.
But after that, it gives me a feeling of being weak. That there was a discussion going on and i couldn't point forth my points and convince other people. Sometimes, I push myself to get up and say my points and then defend them. If I don't do, i feel-
Am i not smart enough?
Am i not confident enough in life to put forth my points?
Do i fear people will judge me if i go against them?
Am i scared of heated arguments?
I shared this feeling with a close friend of mine and he advised me to do an "Importance Analysis" of things. To indulge and defend only if they are important enough. Otherwise, it is not worth your time and peace of mind.
But what about the feeling weak?
Even if the topic is frivolous, I might have a point for or against it.
What i have analysed is that I am a sort of person who likes to talk and discuss and argument on things. Most Librans are. It doesn't mean we love fighting. It doesn't mean that we don't respect another's opinion. But we have this innate feeling of talking and discussing about a lot of things. We like to understand the other's point of view. We like the fact that it pushes us to think about things from different perspectives.
I like that sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. Because the world is different and people have different views.
Your principles might be correct but they should be suitable to your innate nature as well.
I think, from today on, I will try to put my points in a very subtle way whenever I have without thinking about what others might feel or say. As Malcolm Gladwell said in his book, "The Tipping Point", how you say things are much more important than the things you say.
Going forward, I would always try to put forth my points in a subtle way, defend them when i think that i am right and learn from them when i think i am wrong.
Shagun
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